I have a lot of time wasted these days. Internet is definitely not the right place to hang on for the entire day. My assignment due is very soon and I do not have any incentive on doing it. Finals is coming but I don't give a damn. Piles of books on my table but I've never open them up. The Bible is in front of me but I just never thought of reading it. YouTube + Facebook, what a life! STUPIDITY. This is the best word describing my life. I seemed very busy with the laptop on 24/7 but God knows I did nothing. Everyday with the same routine is just bored. I'm bored of having the same class everyday. I'm bored of doing the same tasks over and over again. I'm bored of pretending who I am. I'm bored of pretending not knowing how you hate me. I'm bored of reading your Facebook statuses saying bad about me. I'm bored of faking myself. I'm bored of being the one who begs for friendship.
These negative thoughts, they trapped me, in a dark and empty room. I can't see the light, I can't feel any warmness. The optimistic thoughts in me eventually fades over time. I'm not the ME anymore. The smile on my face does not shine like before. The sincerity in my eyes has gone since long ago. The absence of joy in me makes me a scary person. Having insomnia every night best describes my fear. Going to sleep with worries and fear is like FML. I don't even dare to pray. There's just too much sins in me that I don't even dare to pray. What should I do? I used to tell Him everything but now I'm abandoning Him.
Living in reality is harsh. Fantasy and imagination can be so much better.
Oh YEAH. *me gusta*
I truly do.
2 comments:
Hi! I loved this post. I think it's truly awesome how raw and real you are. Just remember that Jesus is knocking on the door to your heart, just waiting to let you in!
xoxo,
Kate
Wow! Your blog is so creative! how did you make it so cool looking?! I too have a blog, but mine is just plain and not so cool-looking! nice job! u can check out my blog: www.changeourworldx.blogspot.com
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